I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
