I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
