it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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