Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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