the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I could fuck to npr.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
