Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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