I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
