She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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