Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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