question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
