so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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