Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
