I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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