i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
