With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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