you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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