You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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