thus making me awesome and them whores
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
