This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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