Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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