brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
