if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
