my soul wont recognize me after tonight
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
