in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
