I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
