but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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