remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
