Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
