I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just had sex bonerless
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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