What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
