so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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