Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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