That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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