He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
