From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
