If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
