my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
