I'm going to jail i love you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
so much tequila, so little girl.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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