I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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