Where did you get a picture of my penis
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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