Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hippo gnu deer
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
