8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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