My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
