The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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