Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
