Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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