Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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