be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
