Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I still have a little drunk in my system
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize