I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
