Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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