Who did Billy Mays play for?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
