Tell her she can't have a vagina
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he was CRYING into my vagina
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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