I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
