just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
