if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she looked like the before picture.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize