There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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