Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
